The Top 8 Morons Of 20141. *WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?*AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence.2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM FRIENDS:*
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'
3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B?*
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
4. *THE GETAWAY!*
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. *DID I SAY THAT?*
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup
to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',
the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'
6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING?*
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?'
the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!*
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb
and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his
hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. *THE GRAND FINALE!*
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having
a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying
to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there
may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size
and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,was the trailer!
Disneyland has released a new video that takes you into the world and workshop of coin elongaters. The video shows how the pressed pennies (quarters and tokens too) are made. Rob Johnson talks about the process and the over 40 designs will debut during the resort’s Diamond Celebration. He has been making and maintaining coin presses at the Disneyland Resort Electro-mechanical Shop for 25 years,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdTnLExhW8U (copy and paste if link below fails)
Posted by Shane Shellenbarger at 4/10/2015 01:54:00 PM
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
Posted by Shane Shellenbarger at 1/28/2014 10:27:00 PM
Writer Brian Phillips looks back at the beginnings of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
Posted by Shane Shellenbarger at 9/28/2012 11:38:00 AM